Marketing Brochure Analysis

Dear Bob,

I reviewed your new company brochure and have the following comments and suggestions:

1) your website address should be at the very top of the first page

2) "not a problem"  is poor marketing copy

3) marketing copy should be complete sentences or have punctuation indicating otherwise; having a text 'sentence' not contain a verb makes you look bad

4) your copy in general needs to be redone; awkward sentences and dangling participles make your message look weak

5) all copy needs to be edited carefully; in one section the apostrophe was wrong and the wrong words capitalized; common nouns are not normally capitalized

6) cliches like 'one stop shop' and 'competitive prices' don't work anymore

7) your company has three locations but only lists the address for one...why?

8) statements like "you get what you pay for" might not convince your prospects, especially since one of your competitive advantages is price.   

9) your employee pictures don't make them look 'homey'; the photos make them look underpaid. 

In conclusion, I would not use the brochure until it is fixed.