By chance I met an acquaintance I had not seen for some time. We had always had lively discussions when we spoke and we both were between appointments so we struck up a conversation. We updated each other on recent successes and failures and touched briefly on the old alma mater.
After the pleasantries we entered into the more 'important' things. He spoke of a friend that had gotten out of the rat race for a year or so. At that point another company offered her a big contract and she felt compelled to accept an offer that was not meant to be refused. I was impressed with the salary and we both joked about what kind of weekly paycheck that would make.
Being the selfish, egocentric Californians that we are, we were both envious.
On a whim, perhaps a whim based on envy, I asked the simple question, "Yes, but is she happy?"
My friend became silent. No, he finally answered. She was definitely not happy. A year ago she had left her career work because it was no longer satisfying and at 70-80 hours a week she had no personal life. She had hoped at some point to remarry but was feeling she was already married to her job and no suitor could break up the family. If it were not for the money she would quit and do what she really wanted to do. But the big salary did not make her happy either. It sounded crazy but she just could not give up her fragmented life and so continued to remain miserable.
We ended up our conversation slapping each other on the back and saying how lucky we were to be doing what we are interested in. We agreed to talk soon but both knew our busy schedules would not make that possible anytime soon. Our conversation had lasted a half hour yet this conversation is one I have replayed in my head many times. Yes, but are we happy?
Thinking about the workplace I was about to enter I knew I would not see many happy people. I would see owners that hate their industry, employees and customers. I see employees that show up for work only to get a paycheck. They whine and complain and nothing is ever good with them...I see managers snap at employees as if they were unruly school-kids. Why do people do work they do not like? Why don't more people do what they want?
The question is an intriguing one. Most of my interest has been generated by the concept that a happy worker is a more productive worker. Make the worker happy and watch production soar. On a simplistic level this is almost always true.
But it goes past the simplistic. Each of us must look deeply inside and what each of us sees will be different. There are no formulas or templates.
Many of us are possessed with our own happiness -- the United States was founded on the principle that we all have the right to pursue their own ways. Consequently this is one question each person must answer for himself.
And always that nagging question -- Yes, but is she happy?
Jack D. Deal
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